The Far Shore - IC Inbox

[redotiertwo]

[The inbox message sounds like it was left by a text-to-voice program...]

sup this is davesprite
leave a message after the unbeeping orange dots
...

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Comments

[kokuyoyo]

Shut up.

[Fuck you for being single, Davesprite.]

I take back the cookie offer.

[redotiertwo]

rude
im just giving you some friendly life advice
from an experienced romantic

[kokuyoyo]

Since when are you experienced?

[redotiertwo]

since i remembered my last girlfriend
which was a while ago
didnt end well but that doesnt mean im not experienced

[kokuyoyo]

I want to trade in my romantic adviser for a different one.

[redotiertwo]

sorry no refunds or exchanges
shouldve read the contract when you signed up

[kokuyoyo]

I'm leaving a comment on Yelp about this.

[redotiertwo]

are you sure you want yelp to know you needed to hire a romantic advisor

[kokuyoyo]

I'll use an alias.

[redotiertwo]

but there will still be the bone deep shame of knowing
and knowing people saw you write about it
even under a fake name

[kokuyoyo]

If they can't find out it's me, then I don't have any shame.

[redotiertwo]

what if some kind of rad hackerman exposes you
like maybe
the very person you left a shitty review on

[kokuyoyo]

That's not hacking.

[redotiertwo]

social engineering then
which is like hacking but with people

[kokuyoyo]

That sounds like making things up to me.

[redotiertwo]

in a shocking development
people make up words for things that did not have words for them before
like torture
and assassination

[look he's playing to his audience ok]

[kokuyoyo]

tldr language is a lie

[redotiertwo]

basically
read some arts theorists sometime im pretty sure theres an entire school of thought dedicated to language being a lie

[kokuyoyo]

Always glad to see when academia backs up my bullshit.

[redotiertwo]

theres academia to back up most bullshit if you look hard enough
thats the problem
sometimes academia isnt very academic

[kokuyoyo]

And yet we wouldn't get paid attention to unless we had some scrap of paper saying we could.

[redotiertwo]

you could always order a one hundred percent legitimate scrap of paper off the internet

[kokuyoyo]

But I'm cheap.

Also we don't have P.O. boxes.

[redotiertwo]

havent you ordered anything to your gods shrine before

[kokuyoyo]

No

[Don't people work at those things...?]